The thing about consistency

It's impossible (and that's okay)

A lot of the questions clients ask me are about consistency. About how to stay consistent in their business by taking time for it, coming back to it. And especially, with being consistent with their marketing. With showing up regularly, frequently, all the time.

Most often they ask these questions because they’re overwhelmed. Because they feel immense pressure. Because they can’t keep up. Because, somehow, they need to give themselves permission to do things differently.

If you feel the same, you’re not alone. This post is here to tell you that consistency is impossible if you’re a human—and that you don’t need to strive for it.

I’ve shared before how when I started my business I tried very hard to be consistent. Carving out the time for it has never really been a problem—I had one day a week and one day only when I started—but being consistent in marketing soon became a problem.

Because I couldn’t. As diligent as I am, I was never able to keep up with my own marketing schedule for more than three weeks.

And I resented it.

I resented not being able to keep up. I beat myself up over it. And I resented that this was apparently the way you run a business.

Fast forward five years since that spreadsheet above, and I’ve learned that consistency is a myth.

It’s impossible to achieve consistency if you’re a human. Especially a human running their business alone, rather than with a (marketing) team.

Redefining consistency

Because I’m a word-nerd, I looked up the definition of consistency as I was writing this post. And it surprised me.

Consistency is “the quality of achieving a level of performance which does not vary greatly in quality over time.”

When it comes to business, and especially marketing, however, consistency has come to mean “doing something at a fixed frequency (and preferably as often as possible)”.

The marketing gurus and business bros have taught us that consistency is golden in business and the only way to achieve any kind of success. And that this consistency means being everywhere all the time. The kind of thing I tried to do 5+ years ago.

I usually don’t talk about “consistency” with my clients. I talk about doing things in a rhythm that suits them. In a way that is do-able. A way that is not pressuring them.

But if we want to use the term “consistency” nonetheless, I love how the definition focuses on quality. On “achieving a level of performance”. This, to me, means that we show up—in your business, in our marketing—in a way is doable to us.

Because if it’s not doable, we’re not able to achieve that quality. We’re not able to connect with our (potential) customers and clients in the way we want to. We’re not able to run our business in accordance with our values. We’re not able to live the life we want and need.

Your business needs to move with your life. This means that it needs to be flexible, so you can respond to whatever is going on.

I know very well the frustration of illness, of not being able to do what I set out to do. Of having to scale down my ambitions and plans. But I’ve built my business, and especially my marketing, to be able to do just that.

You might be in a similar spot.

Or you might be putting pressure on yourself creating content for the six weeks you’ll be away—as a participant in Grow recently shared. The thing is, you can take a break. You can scale down. You can do less. You don’t need to pretend to be a robot that keeps churning out posts, newsletters, podcasts no matter what.

You’re human. That is why our readers, listeners, clients and customers relate to us. That is why they want to buy from us.

By being human, we allow them to be human too.

An experiment

Take a moment to think or journal about these questions:

1. Where are you putting pressure on yourself to be consistent?

2. How can you redefine consistency in your business, or even let it go altogether?

3. What do you need in order to show up in your business, in your marketing, in a way that moves with your business?

I’d love to know your reflections—leave a comment to join the conversation 💌

If you’d like to go deeper

If you’re ready to explore what this looks like in practice, I’m hosting a free workshop on March 3rd to celebrate the launch of Grow, my gentle marketing programme. During the free workshop we’ll explore what your marketing needs right now and you’ll leave with gentle steps and strategies. There will also be plenty of time to ask questions too. A recording will be available afterwards if you can’t make it live.

“Thank you for creating Grow, it was something I had been looking for for a while without really finding it.”—current Grow participant

What’s happening in the Female Owned community

• 2025 business in review: the numbers behind my year, what felt scary and what it means to go gently when you have no choice;

• Gentle accountability and supportive comments in our monthly Accountability Club

• Your invite to the quarterly office hours: ask me all your questions about business

• The permission to not be ready yet—a grounding post about doing January differently by former client Annemarie Bleeker

a book and a sock | I’ve been reading and knitting (though not at the same time). I’ve knit my first socks + devoured this ↑ creepy and fascinating novel about motherhood and womanhood (hoping to see an English translation soon so more people can read it).

a series | J and I were very much entertained by Seven Dials on Netflix—the language is brilliant, as is Helena Bonham Carter in whatever she does.

a movie date | for the past year J and I have been going to more movies in the daytime. It suits us much better, and pairs nicely with lunch. Last week we watched Hamnet and wept (as the entire room did).

Have a beautiful start to your month! As always, I’m here to cheer you to follow your own pace, your own needs and desires—in your business and in your life. x